Work out how much time you need between leaving your job and finding another identify how much money you need to pay your bills for that length of time and start creating your escape fund. If you feel you have to stay because of your financial situation, as is often the case, then work out an escape plan. Stop putting up with behaviour that is undermining your confidence and making your life miserable. Should you find yourself unable to do any of these things, or should you find that things aren’t changing for the better, then the obvious choice is to find another job. And who knows, you may even earn more respect from you manager. Developing this capability is a necessary life-long skill that will stand you in good stead. However, since the situation is probably already pretty bad right now, learning to stand up for yourself is important. Taking any one of these approaches may feel like a huge challenge when it is a colleague… never mind your boss! Your boss has more power that you do and you may be afraid of how standing up to them might cause things to deteriorate. Unfortunately, this is collusion, not politeness, and collusion only gives the offensive party or bully permission to continue. Sometimes when we are confronted by uncomfortably offensive comments made by others, we are unsure what to do so we play along.
#SMARKY FACE SKIN#
You will only look unprofessional.Īssume it’s an insult. Sometimes we do have thinner skin than is helpful. Before you do make any assumptions, ask yourself 'am I overreacting?' or 'have I misread the situation?'.įeel obligated to laugh or play along. React in the same way. This only ends in you coming off worse. Don’t try to give as good as you get or think up a flippant come back comment. It might not feel comfortable at first, but the more you practice, the more normal it will feel. Ok, so now you have some responses to try when your boss next makes a snarky remark. Let them know that the next time it happens you will be forced to escalate this (ideally to your boss's manager). Then ask that, going forward, they keep their focus on the work at hand and away from this kind of comment.
Thank them for meeting with you, and tell them you would like to discuss what they have said. Meet somewhere public such as a cafe or an office breakout space. Have a face to face conversation with your boss in private. If you're finding that your boss is constantly making disparaging remarks and that none of the above tactics work, ask to speak with them privately. This will move the thrust of your conversation into problem solving and away from unhelpful comments. When you have asked enough questions, and have a better idea of what they are getting at, move on to a question that begins with “how”. This will give you more information and may be quite revealing. Then, respond by using questions beginning with “what.". When you do respond, use this technique called 'labelling'.įor example, “ seems to be important to you” or “it sounds like you are worried about this”. Pretend you don’t understand what your boss said. By making out their comment doesn't make sense and exploring what they meant, you will take all the venom out of it. Start your next comment with “And….” This is a neurological trick that will grab your bosses attention and ensure they listen to you. Simply change the subject and move on to another topic. Use a smokescreen. This is the classic politician's response.
#SMARKY FACE PROFESSIONAL#
By keeping calm and ignoring their comments, you are maintaining your professional image. If you find this too hard, excuse yourself and regain your composure. Try not to show the remark has upset you. If you can, respond to what your boss was saying before the snarky remark - even if you are repeating yourself. Ignore them. Pretend you didn't hear the remark. Mastering this will help you take the following steps. Breathe until you feel calm - this pause is your friend. So the first thing you need to master is learning to breathe through this rush. This will happen before you even get the chance to think. The problem is that as soon as your boss says something snarky to you, you will experience a rush of emotion. Remember, even though what they are saying could be hurtful, demeaning and embarrassing, it reveals a lot more about them than you! Often, this is simply them trying to make themselves feel better at your expense but other times it is, unfortunately, more intentional. When people make snarky remarks at somebody, they are intending to criticize and undermine the other person. Putting up with snarky remarks from anyone, never mind your boss, takes a lot of energy and enjoyment out of your day.
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